Microsoft does away with stack ranking 13 years ago
I'm a big fan of Dale Carnegie, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Win_Friends_and_Influenc....
But, I think that leadership/true emotional control means that, even if someone is treating you wrongly or criticizing you, you can dissect the behavior, and then appeal to reason.
For example, I appreciate, and even invite, ruthless criticism ("go ahead and insult me if necessary") when getting feedback (on my code, performance, etc.)
The importance of having friends who can say, "you're an idiot - you don't understand X, Y, Z" is high.
Sometimes I dislike when, at previous jobs, I've had to mask the truth simply to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Because, if you hurt someone's feelings, that person will close up to you.