jm__87

Maybe it's just me but this seems pretty normal? I don't see myself as having social anxiety, but I am probably more reserved than what you described.

Personally, I find how I spend my time outside of work has a big impact on how motivated and productive I am at work, regardless of how meaningful my work tasks are. Obviously basic things like sleep, diet, exercise are important, but I have also found that spending too much time on things like video games, streaming shows/movies or social media really leaves me feeling depleted and unfocused during work hours. The more I avoid screens outside of work hours, the more productive I am during work hours when I have to look at a screen.

Another thing I think about a lot is that our own brains and sensory organs change (degrade) over time, so my own subjective experience is probably different in some important ways than it was like 20 years ago. My memory likely isn't good enough to fully capture the differences, so I don't even fully know what it was like to be me in the past.

None of us have even experienced the full range of what humans can experience, so even we don't fully know what it is like to be any given person, we only know what it is like to be ourselves. It is kind of amazing when you think about it.

Yea, I get what you're saying. It is unhelpful when people act as if cutting enough calories and/or increasing exercise enough won't lead to weight loss, because obviously it will. Insufficient motivation is definitely a problem for a lot of people, but I think it is also possible to be so metabolically deranged that motivation actually becomes a secondary issue when you have very strong hormonal signals telling you that you need to eat more.

Genetics obviously doesn't break the laws of physics. You cannot get fat without calories in exceeding calories out. With that said, if dieting means you are ravenously hungry all the time, leaves you feeling overwhelmed with stress or leaves you lacking energy to do the bare minimum you need to do (i.e. work, chores, caring for kids, etc), then you're going to find it very difficult to lose weight. These are the actual problems people struggle with when trying to lose weight, which I think lean people often struggle to relate to.

They still need to send their orders to an exchange, which is often done with FIX protocol over TCP (some exchanges have binary protocols which are faster than FIX, but the ones I'm aware of still use TCP)

Weird to be wondering if men are to blame here when women are typically the ones who have the final say as to when and with whom they decide to settle down and have kids with. Personally I think it is a combination of couples not wanting to have kids for a variety of reasons (not wanting to sacrifice their quality of life, lack of economic security, anxieties about the future), women delaying childbirth for longer to focus on education and career (and possibly waiting too long and not being able to have children by the time they are ready), women becoming pickier with who they choose to date and marry with the reality of hypergamy (women with higher educational and career attainment typically want to date men who are at least as successful as they are, and women are increasingly outperforming men in education and career these days). I'm sure men have some blame in this too, but most single men I know would prefer to not be single, but can't seem to find anyone interested.

There is a complete lack of empathy toward those affected by the consequences of hoarding (family etc)

The hoarders I've met tend to be very intelligent and manipulative (and verbally abusive) if they suspect someone is going to try impress change upon them. (A situation they perceive to not be in control).

I'm sorry, but this is just a horrible way to characterize a group of people with clear mental health issues. The reason extreme hoarders are extreme hoarders is probably because their drive to hoard stuff is stronger than literally every other emotion they have, including any empathy they have for those affected. Maybe the hoarder you know is manipulative and has low empathy, but the hoarder I knew was very empathetic and not a manipulative person. She had a ton of shame about it and refused to talk about it or address it.

There is a belief that if they are just persistent enough, their target will see their attempts as affection and fall head over heals for them.

Depends on the kind of stalker. I think you get these delusional obsessive people, but you also get abusive exes who stalk their ex to keep them from moving on or try to scare and intimidate and sometimes assault or kill their new partners.

CBT-I worked for me. The key for this to work (as with all CBT) is to actually do the exercises given and not just read it/try to do it in your head. Good luck.

I mean, if you're focused on reading all the terrible things going on in the world all the time, you aren't actually living in reality. You're living in a reality created by journalists whose job is to get you to click on their articles - usually by reporting the most depressing or terrifying news with a strongly negative bias.

Or just continue raising interest rates. At least where I live, the majority of the excess demand during the pandemic came from investors. It was easy to leverage up and buy more houses using home equity loans while interest rates were low and home prices were appreciating rapidly. Higher interest rates should in theory pop all of these asset bubbles we're seeing.

I agree with your last point on growing wealth inequality and lack of upward mobility, but I would say the global financial crisis and pandemic are notable because of the severity and consequences of each event. I don't blame gen Z and millenials (of which I am one) for wondering what global catastrophe is lurking around the next corner and changing their behavior in anticipation of it.

Definitely not the same. I feel when you dream you feel some time has passed. I've lost consciousness a number of times for different reasons and the common feeling is it doesn't feel like any time has passed. One moment I was awake and the very next I'm on the ground, my head hurts and have no idea what is going on.. for the first 30 seconds I wouldn't be able to tell you my name, where I am, what I was doing, etc. Then it all just comes back after a minute or two and you realize what happened.

I am not an expert in philosophy by any stretch so feel free to poke holes in what I'm about to say, but I somewhat agree with the author's points here, assuming we take nihilism to mean "to both believe and feel nothing has meaning". I think the author may have the causation in the first point backwards though. To truly feel like nothing has any meaning, I think you must first be quite miserable - I doubt anyone first chooses nihilism and then becomes miserable because of that choice. Imagine all of your relationships, your career and all of the other things people usually care about feel meaningless - you would probably be miserable and depressed. It is one thing to believe that life is objectively devoid of meaning. It is a different thing to subjectively feel that nothing in life has meaning.

If you accept that a true nihilist has to be depressed, I would agree that the third point follows. Acknowledging a depressed individual's viewpoint that it is okay to feel everything is meaningless - that this viewpoint is not indicative of a mental health issue that should be addressed - would probably erode societies ability to improve the lives of depressed individuals (assuming improvement means they suffer less).

As to whether other people's suffering matters to you or not, I suppose that depends on the individual. The author seems to think it is not ok for people to suffer, but obviously not everyone would agree with them here.

Maybe you are particularly persuasive, but the guys I have known who harassed women would not take anyone seriously if they were told they are being inappropriate. They may stop in that moment but will go right back to it the next day. Based on my own experiences, men who are fairly conscientious to begin with and listen when someone tells them they are being jerk are generally not the problem.

This isn't really a fair comparison. If someone is doing something blatantly and obviously illegal, then that is different. If I saw a male coworker punch a female coworker in the face, then obviously I am going to do something. I'm assuming the majority of workplace interactions that women have issue with are not blatantly and obviously illegal. Advances/flirting that is unwanted, crude jokes, condescension, etc. I have no idea if a woman is perceiving an interaction with a male colleague as one of these things without her telling me. I don't know what kind of relationship she has with this guy who is engaging in this behavior. I feel it would be premature of me to assume that every time I saw something that I think a woman would perceive as harassment that she is actually perceiving this as harassment AND that she needs my help to deal with it. Many women are perfectly capable of sticking up for themselves and don't want or need a "white knight" to rush in and help them.

Do you believe you have power to change how other women behave towards men? Because I as a guy, have little to no power to change what other guys believe about women or how their beliefs affect their behavior towards women.

I find articles like this annoying but this woman doesn't speak for all women in tech. Presumably some women can relate to her experiences, others can't. Some women will agree with her proposed solutions, others won't. Assuming the goal here is just to provide a workplace where women are treated fairly and not subject to harassment, I think that is a fair thing to ask for. I agree that as a man, it shouldn't be my job to police other men. If a woman comes to me and asks me for help with something, I will try to help her, but I'm not going to monitor interactions between my male and female colleagues for improper behavior.

Probably a combination of those things + for many, poor lifestyle choices will be an issue

I have a job where I get to do a lot of the requirements in addition to the development and trust me, it is just more work and I am more burnt out for it.

Ha I just added an edit to my comment on that book specifically. It is definitely an interesting book and would agree that the author put forth a lot of evidence for everything he stated. I haven't tried EMDR personally but it is compelling.

I have read about half the books in the list and this is the only one I have read from that list that didn't really feel like pop science. This is an amazing book and is the only one I am familiar with from that list that I would actually recommend everyone should read.

Edit: I will also add that The Body Keeps The Score is an interesting book, but I would definitely not recommend everyone read it. If you have suffered some trauma it is definitely worth a read.

I think it depends on how you define what an introvert is. By your definition, it is someone who lacks confidence and social skills. I see a lot of people use the word introvert to mean "prefers spending time alone to socializing". This person may have all the confidence and social skills in the world but just prefers spending time alone, for whatever reason.

I don't even have a family but I'm currently considering switching to a job that is easier. My current job is interesting and pays well, but is very demanding and stressful. To meet the demands of my job and not burn out requires my life to pretty much revolve around work and it's just not worth it. I've been dreaming of a boring 9 to 5 job for the past year or so.

Humans are still doing some pretty awful things to each other, I'm not sure our treatment of animals is really near the top of the list. We can obviously do much better with regard to our treatment of animals, but the same can be said about a lot of things.

I'm not sure I agree. Any valuation for an asset is going to be expressed in terms of other assets. If lowering interest rates to near zero causes a dramatic rise in prices for a number of assets like we have seen in the past year, this doesn't necessarily mean the assets are priced unfairly in relative terms. Same goes for any regulation which creates a favorable environment for a rise in a particular type of asset - that asset may be fairly priced given the context.

Usually bubbles by definition have some level of irrationality. The price of asset(s) far exceed what is rational given the context. For example tulip mania, dot com bubble. I guess we do refer to the 2008 housing bubble and I would agree with you there that was driven just as much by systemic issues as opposed to just irrationality.

I am someone who had suffered with insomnia for decades and mostly resolved it in the past few years. I'm not sure why you think eating in the morning is necessary for getting a good sleep - I rarely eat breakfast and usually sleep great these days. The thing that helped me was going to a therapist and doing CBT-I. Probably the top three things for me were just getting out of bed if I couldn't sleep, forcing myself to exercise even when I am completely exhausted and learning to be okay with sleeping poorly. Putting a lot of pressure on yourself to sleep well and thinking about it all the time can for some people like myself, lead to poor sleep. That being said, this is what worked for me and I would encourage anyone with insomnia to try CBT-I - it may sound dumb to some people with loads of advice you can find on the internet with respect to getting good sleep, but having someone tell you what to do and then holding you accountable can help a lot when trying to fix a difficult problem like insomnia.

Just curious, who or what is encouraging this constant churn of socialization that you are experiencing? I am not aware of this phenomenon