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fumigator

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"The mansplaining in this thread is off the scale"

OK, I assume you're of what used to known as the female gender and as such disqualified to comment on any male related issues. I shall be keeping an eye on you from now on. By any chance would the opposite of 'mansplaining' be bitchsplaining, I wonder :)

mansplaining:: a term of abuse used in the lunatic fringe of third-wave feminism to shut down discourse.

Your cloud service does everything except for file backups, load balancing and can't handle huge file copies. And for reliability and responsiveness, requires a hybrid private-public cloud. Which begs the question as to what's the point of moving to the cloud in the first place.