I have a cousin in exactly the same boat. I think people don't realize that a third of actual autistic people functionally can't speak and 75% of them are unemployed. They would rather have a normal life, and probably don't enjoy hearing about "quirky" celebrities who got diagnosed by some monkey psychiatrist.
I don't think the DSM-5 is unreasonable. Seems like it's just misapplied. https://depts.washington.edu/dbpeds/Screening%20Tools/DSM-5(.... Even under DSM-4, how many of these Tiktok diagnosees would qualify as Aspergers? https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/autism/case-modules/pdf/... lists the same kind of criteria as is in the DSM-5.
The self diagnosers sort of forget that you're supposed to have all of the things listed: persistent communication deficit, repetitive behaviors, symptoms present in childhood, and symptoms that limit and impair everyday functioning. You can't just only have one because it's a "spectrum."
Looking at the DSM-5 list: when I was little I made eye contact with almost nobody and refused to go on play structure equipment if there was someone else on it. I still like having a "schedule" all the time and am sensitive to sounds - who isn't? But I don't have autism: I can hold a conversation fine and don't have impaired function in everyday life.