I identify strongly with vast swaths of your post, which reaffirms my plans to begin some medication management within the month. (My psych provider was a bit concerned about my blood pressure, so he/she had me visit a PCP who wants to monitor my blood pressure for a month before he signs off on proceeding with stimulant medication, or I'd be on it now).
For me, I was diagnosed when I was in 4th grade, but my mother didn't want to medicate. I was able to more or less cope a little bit while school and such gave me structure - I was able to cope as long as school provided me with strong structure. But as soon as all that structure started to dissolve I began to struggle quite a bit, and three years ago any structure provided by others all but dissipated.
Thanks for sharing.