> It's depressing to see all the match questions on OKCupid that say "Do you strongly want your mate to be of the same race as you: Yes", but that's the way it goes.
Yep, you should never rely on online dating as an Asian guy in the West. It's a complete waste of time.
> I've also found that there are many white women who say they're not interested in Asian guys, but when the right guy comes along, they suddenly change their mind.
The key is to meet women in real life and deemphasize your race as much as possible. Of course, you will still have to be that much better than a white guy in other categories (be personable/funny, be in shape, be wealthy, dress nicely) to make up for your race, but meeting women face-to-face makes it much more difficult for them to just outright dismiss you.
This is because that latent racism feels much more acceptable to women when they're sitting alone, in private, in front of their computer. On the other hand, when they're in a public social setting, they (just like everyone else) feel judged by society. For an Asian guy who wants to date white women, that social pressure is the best weapon for combating racism. After breaking past that initial barrier, the rest is up to the individual.