andersjbe

I’ve always been someone who likes to go to local coffee shops, shops, and walks around the neighborhood. While I’ve met a few friendly employees who learn my name and say hi to me, in general I’ve found customers and people in general aren’t super approachable. They’re usually there as a part of an existing group of friends, or are focused on their work.

I’m not saying it’s impossible to meet people in this situation, but it is difficult to break the ice. Especially if your social skills are rusty.

On a larger scale, I think most people’s budget for anonymous social interaction is consumed through social media, where they scroll past strangers arguing and let’s be honest, mostly vitriolic comments. So in the real world, they don’t want to deal with anonymous strangers and intently focus on their own friendships.

Groups are a good way to bridge this gap, but the groups that are easier to host aren’t always accessible to everyone. And they require a lot of time and ideally strong social skills to run effectively.

I’ve thought about starting a campaign to make socializing with people in person more of a common practice again, but I’m honestly not sure how to convince enough people

First off, definitely go to a therapist. Talking 1on 1 with someone about deep personal topics might be a lot, but it does help. Group therapy can also help, and it can improve your listening and empathy.

Aside from that, I’d evaluate your behavior, personally I’ve always struggled with food addiction and often used that as a crutch to deal with loneliness. Be honest with yourself and check your coping mechanisms- playing video games, doomscrolling, alcohol, etc.. It’s easy to think of these things as relatively harmless ways to blow off steam, but over relying on them can change how you interact with the world, and thus how you’re perceived by others.

As for more practical suggestions, if you’re into listening to music, see if any of the local venues have shows you’d be interested in. Finding people who are passionate about the same music you are is a great shortcut to finding potential friends.