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Hi, thanks for letting me know how this landed for you. What about my phrasing felt condescending? If you are up for sharing I'd appreciate that.

My point was not that non-confrontational language is better, per se - more that there's different ways to communicate the same things. You referred to the parent comment as "one of the dumbest responses" you've ever seen - which can be taken as a divisive statement (e.g. a type of "violence", in the parlance of NVC). And in that comment, I also heard some an expression of some of your values.

I believe that most of us, if not all, desire more connection versus more division, and this is one of the things that NVC can be really helpful in creating. A way to communicate our needs and how to ask for them that fosters connection. And it's definitely a practice! I'm by no means an expert or master.

If I'm hearing you correctly - a way to express the same thing you just said using the principles of nonviolent communication [1] could sound something like:

"having a healthy work life balance, healthy emotional management skills, and using safe and well-tested medicines are things that I strongly value. When I read your comment suggesting that people use nootropics, I felt scared / angry / <insert whatever your emotional response was here, related to your needs not being met>, because in it, I heard an invitation to not deal with a stressful job in a healthy way by ignoring the fundamental causes of stress and bypassing them by numbing oneself through the use of untested and unregulated products.

Would you be up for explaining more of your thought process as to why you think using nootropics is a good idea? And, how does this address what I'm hearing the in parent commenter's request to address the core causes of stress at work in a healthy, balanced way? Thanks for the conversation."

What do you think?

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nonviolent_Communication