I can build strawmen too:
- SmugCeeWeenie: I am so fast, look (oops, core dumped)
- SmugGoWeenie: abstractions are so nasty we should get rid of functions, so that everyhting is laid out clearly. Hopefully, I have copy/paste.
- SmugAdaWeenie: Functions are not procedures and records cannot store objects. Real engineers do not "prototype" code.
- SmugHaskellWeenie: Yeah, it compiles! Job done.
In the space year 2015 people are still doing this.
About first class functions? citation needed.