Fistandantilus

I would say that they're still smaller than C++, which has syntactical and semantic corners that very few people even know about.

"[Javascript] is functional. Really."

I don't really agree; just because a language has first-class functions and closures, that doesn't make it a functional language. Sure, you can write functional-style code in Javascript, but you can do that in almost any language, many of which don't have first-class functions and closures.