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I'm taking your defeatist attitude as a symptom of your condition so instead of grilling you for it, I'll offer some useful advice. Do yourself a favor and buy some Rhodiola Rosea, Lemon Balm, L-Phenylalanine, L-Tryptophan and play around with the dosages. Do yourself a bigger favor and start exercising, stop eating sugar and cut out all sources of caffeine. Depression is easy to treat without turning yourself into a zombie. Don't fall for the idiotic marketing prevalent in today's medical culture - they're trying to take your money, not give you health. You don't need to trade one thing for another - the human body is not a closed system and happiness is not a zero-sum game.