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I get fairly audiable coil whine when scrolling websites.

False positives aren't exactly rare. Cheaters trolled PunkBuster's memory scans by sending offending payloads matching blacklisted signatures over popular IRC channels, less recently they exploited an RCE vulnerability to deploy cheats to other players computers, mid-game. AMD released drivers hooking themselves into games processes, triggering detections. And there's a lot of less obvious problems with this approach.

I don't know if that's the case now, but not many years back Safari on iPhone wouldn't let you subscribe and receive push notifications. Even something as simple as that is enough to render a web based messenger useless. There's also no API to synchronize your contacts, which is something a 'normal' user would expect, nevermind rather awkard mobile browser tab management which confuses even me, someone who is intimately familiar with how web browsers work.

I fear we're long past the point of no return. We are exactly one 'policy update' away from not being able to install non-compliant messengers on our phones. Sure, there are still some devices that will let you unlock the bootloader and you can still sideload unverified apps, but let's be honest, most people today barely manage to install an app from the store. If installing a decentralized messenger is more involved than that, 99% of people aren't going to do it.