Ask HN: How do you protect your children?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6260413

by acron0 • 13 years ago

2 12 13 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

I have a young child of my own (20 months), but my wife and I have recently become registered foster carers and one of the things that is on our 'must do before children arrive' check list is to safe-guard the internet connection from the typical online nasties. My only knowledge of this area is from [the days of?] Net Nanny and Cyber Sitter, both of which I recall being a bit naff and not really effective. I think there's going to be some kind of proxying involved, but I can't really find any 'ready made' solutions and time is against me. It has to be something proactive and I don't really want to use something crude like blocking rude patterns in URLs... Surely this is a problem a lot of hacker parents have? So what do you guys do/use?

gesman• 13 years ago

You probably want to ask this question to happy parents of happy children, not just any parents, including overcontrolling parents who makes their own and their children's lives miserable.

cpr• 13 years ago

Simplest method (what we do) is to set up OpenDNS Home (http://www.opendns.com/home-solutions/parental-controls/) as your home router's DNS server, which should then propagate to all your machines.

It only blocks the most egregious stuff and doesn't do anything about monitoring/blocking chat, etc., but at least you have some basic peace of mind.

(Of course, a determined budding hacker could easily get around it if they can change a local machine's DNS settings.)

acron03• 13 years ago

This sounds like an awesome idea. I checked the settings on my stock router, from my ISP, and it doesn't permit you to change DNS! Totally gutted. Time to get a new router, I think. Good advice though, thank you.

brudgers4• 13 years ago

Model good practices.

Be present with your child when she is using the internet.

Shut down the electronics and put them away at night.

Discuss the facts of the world openly and honestly. Don't lie.

It's just basic parenting stuff - no different than cable TV or DVD's. It's all in the relationship.

There's no techno-fix. Or rather, the techno fix doesn't substitute for actual engagement.

It will help to think through where your limits are. What are your options when a 13 year old boy visits Pornhub to watch teen lesbian videos?

Do you call a counselor? Ignore it as a normal part of sexual expression? Lay hands on to remove the devil? Talk about it? Ignore it?

Is your response different if it's bondage? Forced sex? Latex gimp dwarf porn?

There's no shortcuts. Parenting is pretty simple and very hard. You protect them by teaching them to make healthy choices and leave the helicopter in the hanger as often as possible.

Good luck.

acron03• 13 years ago

I completely agree with this! But these aren't my kids, they're other peoples... ;) I can't knowingly allow a child in my care to view sexually explicit images, whether I consider it to be healthy or not.

brudgers4• 13 years ago

If you must prevent it, then unplug the house from the internet. That's the way parenting works.

If that seems too drastic, then you think about how you might deal with Australian dildo babes in a more reasonable manner. That's also the way parenting works.

There's theory and there's reality. In the reality, what matters is what actually benefits a specific living breathing individual child who is experiencing both normal maturation and stressful social/family circumstances. What matters is what really matters.

To put it another way, for some kids the only responsible course of action might be cutting the wire. For others, the only responsible course may be buying more bandwidth. Once they're in your home, kids cease being an abstraction.

But before going any further, stop and consider that most foster parents and actual parents aren't building the great firewall on their home networks. Instead, they're dealing with it in the great tradition of parenting - by muddling along until a reaction is necessary.

Uber parenting requires exerting no more force than necessary.

Ask HN: How do you protect your children?

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