Ask HN: Considering a move to the Bay Area with a family. Where should I live?

I have what might be a very good job offer in the Bay Area. Not going to reveal with whom, but it's in the vicinity of Mountain View.

It would involve relocation to Silicon Valley, so evaluating the possibility of living there is a major part of evaluating the offer.

First, some background: I love tech and love to build things, but I also love other things too. I have a family and a five month old baby, and my wife wants to stay home while our kids are young and I support this as well. I am quite interested in developing my career, but I have no interest in becoming an unbalanced workaholic. I also want to have a life, pursue other things, and spend time with the people I love.

It's not the job I'm concerned about here. It's the real estate hyperinflation of the valley and the culture that this engenders.

So what I'm looking for is: if I want to lead a balanced life with a family, where should I live? Is there anywhere in the Bay Area (commutable to Mountain View in <30-45 minutes) that isn't unattainably expensive and where my wife and kids would feel comfortable living?

I'm looking for cultural insight, since financial insight is something I can do myself. I've already made a number of spreadsheets.

Edit: I'm more interested in the long view-- in neighborhoods we could eventually call home. I'm interested in areas where being a stay at home mom for a while isn't terribly weird, where our kids would have other kids to play with, and where the cost isn't so astronomical that it's going to eat up any advantage from the job's compensation.