Surrender as a non-stupid life strategy

https://sashachapin.substack.com/p/should-you-be-in-charge-of-your-life

by eatitraw • 4 days ago

21 9 4 days ago

sashachapin.substack.com

gibbitz• 4 days ago

It must be nice to choose this approach to life. For most people it is hoisted on them. You want to have a place to live you take a job the job doesn't pay enough, you take another. Your parents get old you take care of them. You have a child you need more money, you get another job. That job takes your time you don't know your kid. Etc.etc. Having no agency is the dream of people who waste having agency. Not surprising there's no explanation of what "achieving all my goals in my 20's" means or the lack of explaining how they got there.

The author likely doesn't realize how privilege influences their worldview and I don't fault them for it, but as readers we do need to bring this awareness with us. Giving up agency is a concept that somehow has traction today in a country founded on every citizen having agency that can only work if we have a complete lack of self awareness.

ericmcer• 4 days ago

I feel this, it must be nice to get from your teenage years to your mid 30s without having a bunch of life events crash into you.

nostrademons• 4 days ago

I think the point of the article is that that is your life, so embrace it. There's no sense struggling against or resenting it; instead, find the joy in what you have, so you can enjoy the moments you get.

A good pop-culture analogue is the movie Mr. Holland's Opus. Mr. Holland was a struggling but talented young musician; he dreamed of composing his magnum opus and leaving his mark on the world. But he has take a job teaching music to support his wife and young son, who turns out to be deaf. The job requires long hours and he finds himself lacking much time to connect with his son. 30 years later, he's laid off. His former students come back to stage a performance of his symphony in the high school auditorium.

The point is that the students were the opus. Not the music, which is thoroughly mediocre. The music was just the vehicle to bring the students together. A lot of critics wonder why symphony at the end isn't more impressive, it being Mr. Holland's life's work, but don't realize that that's the point of the movie. Your actual life's work is in the decisions you make, day in and day out, in response to the constraints that your life actually presents you, not some image that you may have formed based on a platonic ideal of no constraints.

valleyer• 4 days ago

By contrast, you can, right now, try believing that what’s happening is what’s supposed to be happening, in exactly the right order.

My government is currently killing people for looking Mexican. Any advice for how I should apply this belief there?

talon8635• 4 days ago

Which country?

t0mpr1c3• 4 days ago

Dude. Here on HN the only Tao we want to hear about is Terence.

tanseydavid• 4 days ago

I loved this piece. The value is in the abstract concepts NOT in specific cases people are posting.

It is about the deliberate management over one's own internal state which is the only thing one has true control over.

Resentment, especially so-called justified-resentment literally steals from other parts of my life experience that are not connected in any way to the person, place, thing or situation that I am feeling resentment towards.

It is ultimately a choice but not an easy or obvious choice.

Every decision I ever make no matter how trivial it seems, has an associated sacrifice connected to it. Much of the time I want to think and act as if this were not the case.

robbiejs• 4 days ago

Thank you for writing this. It resonates with me at this moment in my life! :-)

shaggie76• 4 days ago

This post immediately reminded me of the Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff (a charming introduction to Taoism). I think it's one of the rare books I've read more than twice and I highly recommend it.

Surrender as a non-stupid life strategy

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