On Being a Dad

Perhaps even worse. I'm over simplifying: but at least some childless people know it's a lot of work and sacrifice to be a good parent, hence they opted out. On the other hand for the clueless ones, they thought of a child as something akin to having a toy - all fun and no work, only to realizes later that they are dealing with a full fledged individual.

virgil_disgr4ce• 4 months ago

Did anyone say anything about being an expert?

But even if someone had, I will happily propose that every parent who cares about being a parent is an expert on parenting.

oldandboring• 4 months ago

Really nicely articulated. It sounds like the author is a new parent; if so he's in for an incredible ride and I hope he keeps writing about it.

spiderfarmer• 4 months ago

I'm someone who's always eager to try the next thing. That's why I'm not really good at anything. I always doubt my capabilities because I know enough to know exactly why I suck at doing the thing.

Being a parent is completely different. I can't exactly move on to the next thing even if I ever wanted to. But there is absolutely no doubt in my mind that I'm good at this.

Because at the very least I'm a lot better than my parents ever were. My wife and kids are all happy and I really, really enjoy being a parent. That's something a lot of children never get to experience.

RickJWagner• 4 months ago

After I retired from programming I took a part time volunteer gig as a ‘Father Advocate’ at a pregnancy center. I talk with young men with a pregnant partner, preparing them for fatherhood.

There is a crisis in this workspace. Many young men grew up without a father, and they’ve missed out on decades of learning by example. They are often ill-prepared for the role of father and don’t really know what a father does. Their lives are often much less satisfying than they should be.

Please help raise awareness for this problem. Donate, volunteer, do what you can. The stories are heartbreaking and the path forward is often unclear. Every single one wants to break the cycle, but help is needed.

wat10000• 4 months ago

Parenthood is not special. It’s just another ride in the park. But it is there, and it was built for us, and we were built for it, too.
So, that is a second reason to become a parent. You’re in this amusement park only once, and I think you might as well ride the rides.

Well, that's not quite true. It's pretty much unique among all the rides in that you can't get off the ride, ever. (Unless you're OK with completely abandoning your children.) So you really want to make sure you're going to like that ride. That's a pretty good reason not to ride it if you think that might not be the case.

On Being a Dad

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