The post I'm not supposed to write – how we are silencing victims online

https://www.childabusesurvivor.net/wordpress/2025/06/02/the-post-im-not-supposed-to-write-how-we-are-silencing-victims/

by mikemac29 • 1 year ago

7 2 1 year ago

tl;dr

…our attempts at making social media “safe” have led us to this weird world where we can’t talk about rape, gun violence, or even suicide prevention without using code words. We have to sugarcoat the reality of what is happening so that it doesn’t get censored as dangerous material…

Example:

Just this weekend I saw a post complaining that we constantly use the term sexual assault for every kind of crime and don’t use the word rape, when rape is not the same thing. Yet, even in that post, the author spelled it r@pe because you can’t talk about rape on social media! I’m not sure if they recognized the irony of answering their question in the text.

reify• 1 year ago

There is a lot of confusion about using the word rape when referring to sexual assaults.

Here in the UK, all sexual offences against children are charged as rape.

If the perpetrator committed the same offence against an adult it would be sexual assault.

Thats why you see so many headlines about children getting raped. when in fact they may have been sexually assaulted.

Rape of an adult is defined as sexual penetration carried out against a person without consent.

Uk law states that children cannot give consent to any sexual contact, hence the rape charges.

The Law is an odd thing. My fellow therapist and I had great difficult explaining this to some clients who had been sexually abused as teenagers.

They were adamant that the sexual contact was consensual.

The argument: In the eyes of the law, a 15 year old child, for instance, is incapable of making a decision about who they chose to have sex with.

yet children are deemed criminally responsible at 10 years of age, they can make rational decisions to commit a crime and will feel the full force of the law.

Basically, at 10 years old they know right from wrong when they commit a crime, but at 15 years old they dont know right from wrong when choosing with whom to have sex with.

We see, very rarely, 10 year olds being sentenced for murder.

As retired psychotherapist I do not think it is wise to start sharing any personal experience on social media. It is not a safe or confidential space to talk about sexual abuse.

Go see a therapist if you want to talk about any sexual abuse, if you want to bring your abuser to account, and involved the criminal justice system, you can work with your therapist to make that happen.

The post I'm not supposed to write – how we are silencing victims online

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