Ask HN: What consequences does marriage have on your startup?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4387226

by rvivek • 14 years ago

8 11 14 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

I read through this thread (http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=617503) but the comments started deviating from what the topic was meant for.

anandkulkarni• 14 years ago

Our cofounder Dave got married a week before Demo Day.

It's been an asset to our startup: a married member of the team keeps us grounded and gives the company perspective.

zio99• 14 years ago

If anything, I'd say it'd work out better for your startup than not. See, the point is not to confuse dating with marriage, which can be quite the distraction. Marriage is after having found someone that supports your aspirations/startup (you would hope).

Your spouse will push you to new limits, much like your co-founders would, and will keep you grounded like Anand mentioned below. I think the best pair of co-founders is exactly that - one realist, one dreamer.

AznHisoka• 14 years ago

I'm not married yet, but I think marriage would only be a net benefit. No sexual frustration = more focus and clarity :)

mchannon• 14 years ago

All marriages are different, as are all relationships.

Married people tend to be slightly happier than single people (not sure if that's hardworking happy or fat dumb happy), and as many distractions as marriages add, many distractions single people face get handled or eliminated by the other partner.

Startups are stressful places and marriages tend to reduce stress on average; I'd look at it as a very weak plus.

jamesjguthrie• 14 years ago

Meeting my fiancee has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, gave me ambition again and is probably the reason why I'm doing the start-up thing now.

We live together, have a 10 month old baby and we're getting married in July. I don't think the marriage will change anything.

paulhauggis• 14 years ago

It really depends on who you are marrying. Startups can destroy a marriage if your husband/wife doesn't understand or doesn't support you.

glaugh• 14 years ago

My wife is our biggest fan, harshest critic, and our first customer. Also, she's kind of our den mother.

It's not particularly easy to spend this much time apart, but she's a champ about it. We would not be the same company without her.

timo614• 14 years ago

It really depends on the dynamic of the relationship and how supporting of each other both of you are. That said I only have a finance so I really can't say how marriage will be (although I've lived with her for nearly 3 years so I guess I have a general idea).

I have to say it's kind of like how PG goes on about how startups should have more than one founder so that they'll be able to carry the load together... I would not be where I am today without her continued support and I'd like to think vise versa.

That said I've dated other women who got mad if I didn't unplug for a weekend entirely and would go out dancing and drinking every night at a club. Honestly I don't know how things would have been if we had got married -- I think the relationship wouldn't be able to stand the pressures of life. It took me a long time (likely longer than it should have) to find the right person to counter balance my own weaknesses and encourage me to keep striving toward my goals.

The key isn't waiting for a time when life's pressures disappear but finding something who has the tenacity to tackle them with you.

Be good to each other and I think you'll be fine.

vaske• 14 years ago

it brings me a lot, stable sex life means clear focus on work...so it's benefit!

martinshen• 14 years ago

It bothers me that the concern is consequences of marriage on startup... Not startup on marriage.

eduardordm• 14 years ago

In my case, it helped me a lot. My wife gives me perpective, marriage is never time consuming, it's just the opposite, your partner will help you when you need the most. Just knowing you have someone to help when you fail miserably (trust me, you will) makes your decision making process more rational. I've been married for 6 years.

Being single is not an advantage at all if you have a healthy marriage. I don;t really know what happens when marriages don't work.

Ask HN: What consequences does marriage have on your startup?

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