Social Media - FaceBook is killing us

For over a year I've been a FaceBook-user. Not the one that uses it like Twitter and posts everything he's doing (like telling everyone what you have for dinner, the fact that your dog ate the newspaper of yesterday or you just found out that there's a new brand of toilet paper at the local store). I was more the 'reading' kind of guy. And it irritated me over time. Now the point came that I deleted my account (actually, you can't, you can just politely ask FaceBook to do that for you so they can backup all your information for further use). So why did I do it?

Privacy Yeah, sure. If you want your life to be completely out there just open a FaceBook account, create a Google-account, get Twitter, Flickr and go online. Someone who really knows how to use this information has a nice overview of your life and everything you do. Counting in the fact that a huge amount of people do this, FaceBook becomes the place-to-be when you want to know something. Just imagine what would happen if this information would be freely available by the government or worse: the companies. Your life will be controlled by what you post and what you upload. And now I can hear you think: "But I'm only uploading the things I want." Here comes my second point.

Social Being social these days means something different than a couple of years ago. Today it means having all the accounts, uploading everything you can and telling your friends all the nice things that happened to you that day. We share the nice parts of our life. We have over 100 friends who are all able to read it and react to it. A couple of years ago it meant that you and your friends went to a pub and talked about everything that happened in your lives. The good things and the bad things. It meant that you called a close friend and met each other to talk about the things that really matter. And that's where the whole difference is. For some reason we're not honest to ourselves when we are online. When we upload some images of our vacation, we just do that to show our so-called friends (more about that later) what a great time we can have with our loved-ones. Bought a new car? Upload it right now so the others can see how well you're doing. We're showing the world how well we're doing.

The last year hasn't been the best year for me personally. Some horrible things happened. And not the things like: my car broke down three times. Let's put it this way: I've been shown who really are my friends. In comparison to the huge friend-lists some people have, it's nothing. But for me it's the most valuable thing I have. Be honest. When you scroll through the list of people who like to be called 'Friends': how many of them are really friends as in: "I can trust them, they support me and they're here for me whenever I need it"? Found three? Delete your account, call them and meet up. Found none? Delete your account and call some people who were your friends. Found over five? Go through them again. Friends aren't made on FaceBook. They're made when they're there when you need them the most. And you will find out who are your friends when you're in need of them.

Currently the social media is nothing more than a way to show others how well you're doing and how great your life is. Nowhere you will read the real answer to: "What's on your mind" or "What are you doing". Sometimes there's a little glance of it, but there are not much reactions to those messages. Of course not. What should you answer. That you feel sorry for them? That you can't imagine how it must be to be in that position? It's not what FaceBook is made for.

If you feel the same, there's only one thing to do. Close those accounts and make your life better by calling and meeting your friends. You don't have to be that perfect person who has a perfect life. Just be honest to yourself.

John Murray

A little note: Of course I know that social media offers the opportunity to meet new people, find old friends and make them friends. But those stories are not "all over the place". If you made some real friends: great. Just great. Call them now and meet them in real life. FaceBook can be the beginning. But don't let it become the end.