Ask HN: Which messenger app is good in 2023?

Facebook finally closed down the Messenger Lite app¹ that I've been relying on since the main Messenger app became so overburdened with adverts that I couldn't bear to use it any more. Now I'm looking for a replacement.

Mostly this will be for my wife and myself, on Android, but we'd prefer something where we can reasonably easily connect with our friends. Adverts (and Meta) are a dealbreaker, paying for the service isn't. I've lost track of which app Google are abandoning next, and I don't love the idea of tying identity to a phone number. I'd prefer something I can use from the (Linux) desktop as well.

What do you recommend? Help me HN, you're my only hope...

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¹ https://techcrunch.com/2023/08/24/meta-is-shutting-down-messenger-lite-for-android-in-september/