Ask HN: What's the best AI-generated joke you've ever seen?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=35730090

by ShawnL30 • 3 years ago

4 7 3 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

I recently asked ChatGPT to tell me jokes about random things I camp up with. It seems to be really obsessed with puns. As I keep asking it to "think of another one", the "jokes" make less and less sense. So I wonder if anyone has ever seen an actually funny AI-generated joke.

navjack276• 3 years ago

These are all made with Bing Chat

---

It was a typical day for the Three Stooges: Moe, Larry and Curly. They had just finished their lunch of beans and sausages, and were feeling the urge to visit the bathroom. They rushed to the nearest outhouse, only to find out that it was occupied by a grumpy farmer. They waited impatiently for him to finish, but he seemed to take forever. Finally, he came out and slammed the door behind him. The Stooges ran inside, hoping to relieve themselves quickly. But to their horror, they discovered that there was no toilet paper left. They looked around frantically for something to use, but all they could find were some old newspapers, a corn cob and a rusty nail. They argued over who would use what, and ended up fighting with each other. Moe grabbed the nail and tried to poke Curly in the eye, but Curly dodged and hit Moe in the nose with the corn cob. Larry picked up the newspapers and threw them at both of them, but they caught fire from a candle on the wall. The outhouse soon filled with smoke and flames, and the Stooges ran out screaming and holding their pants. They bumped into the farmer, who was furious that they had burned down his outhouse. He chased them with a shotgun, while they yelled "Woob woob woob!" and "Nyuk nyuk nyuk!".

---

It was a dark and stormy night. The Three Stooges were staying at a rundown motel in the middle of nowhere. They had just finished eating a large pizza and were feeling the effects of their indigestion. They decided to take turns using the bathroom, hoping to relieve their discomfort.

Moe went first. He locked the door behind him and sat on the toilet. He soon realized that he had made a terrible mistake. There was no toilet paper in the dispenser. He looked around frantically, but there was nothing he could use. He shouted for help, but no one answered. He was trapped.

Larry went next. He knocked on the bathroom door, but there was no response. He assumed that Moe was taking a long time and decided to use the bathroom in the lobby. He walked down the hall and found the door marked "Restroom". He opened it and entered. He soon realized that he had made a terrible mistake. There was no toilet in the restroom. There was only a sink, a mirror, and a vending machine. He looked around frantically, but there was nothing he could use. He shouted for help, but no one answered. He was trapped.

Curly went last. He knocked on both bathroom doors, but there was no response. He assumed that Moe and Larry were taking a long time and decided to use the bathroom outside. He walked out of the motel and found a nearby bush. He opened his pants and squatted behind it. He soon realized that he had made a terrible mistake. There was no bush behind him. There was only a window, and behind it was a group of angry bikers playing poker. They looked up and saw him. They shouted at him, but he didn't answer. He was trapped.

The next morning, the motel manager found the Three Stooges tied up in a dumpster, covered in bruises and trash. He asked them what happened, but they didn't answer. They just moaned and groaned in pain.

---

It was a typical day for The Three Stooges: Moe was slapping Larry and Curly, Larry was poking Moe and Curly in the eyes, and Curly was making his trademark "nyuk nyuk nyuk" sound. They were bored and looking for something to do. They decided to check out the newspaper for some entertainment.

"Hey, look at this!" Moe exclaimed, pointing to an ad. "There's a convention for funny people in town. It says 'Come join the furry community and have a blast!'"

"Funny people? That's us!" Larry agreed. "We're the funniest guys around!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Curly chimed in. "Let's go!"

They quickly got dressed and headed to the convention center. They didn't notice that the ad had a picture of a person in a fox costume and the word "furry" was spelled with two r's.

When they arrived, they were greeted by a large crowd of people wearing animal costumes and accessories. They saw cats, dogs, wolves, foxes, rabbits, and more. They also saw some people who looked like hybrids of different animals.

"Wow, look at all these funny people!" Moe said. "They must be really good at jokes!"

"Maybe they can teach us some new gags!" Larry said.

"Or maybe they can give us some pie!" Curly said.

They walked into the convention hall and tried to mingle with the other attendees. They soon realized that they were not in the right place.

"Hey, you!" a man in a tiger costume said to Moe. "What's your fursona?"

"My what?" Moe asked.

"Your fursona! Your animal alter ego! Your furry identity!" the tiger explained.

"I don't have one of those," Moe said.

"What? How can you not have a fursona? You're at a furry convention!" the tiger said.

"A furry convention? I thought this was a funny convention!" Moe said.

"No, no, no! This is a furry convention! A gathering of people who like to dress up as animals and express themselves!" the tiger said.

"That sounds ridiculous!" Moe said.

"It's not ridiculous! It's fun! It's liberating! It's who we are!" the tiger said.

"Well, it's not who we are!" Moe said. "We're The Three Stooges! We're comedians! We're here to make people laugh!"

"Laugh? At what?" the tiger asked.

"At this!" Moe said, slapping the tiger in the face.

"Ow! That hurt!" the tiger said.

"It's supposed to hurt! It's funny!" Moe said.

"It's not funny! It's rude!" the tiger said.

"It's not rude! It's hilarious!" Moe said.

They started to argue and attract attention from other furries. Larry and Curly saw what was happening and tried to help Moe.

"Hey, leave him alone!" Larry said to the tiger. "He doesn't know any better!"

"Yeah, he's just ignorant!" Curly said.

They joined Moe in slapping and poking the tiger. The tiger fought back and soon a brawl broke out between The Three Stooges and the furries. Fur flew everywhere as they punched, kicked, and bit each other. The security guards tried to stop them but they were outnumbered and overwhelmed.

The fight lasted for several minutes until the police arrived and arrested everyone involved. They were taken to jail and charged with disorderly conduct and assault. They spent the night in a cell with other furries who glared at them with hatred.

The next day, they were released on bail and went back to their apartment. They were bruised and battered from the fight. They also had some unwanted souvenirs: Moe had a pair of cat ears on his head, Larry had a tail attached to his pants, and Curly had a collar around his neck with a tag that read "Fluffy".

They looked at each other and sighed.

"Well, that was a disaster," Moe said.

"Yeah, we really messed up," Larry said.

"We sure did," Curly said.

They paused for a moment and then burst into laughter.

"Nyuk nyuk nyuk!"

The End

---

I could keep posting forever. You just need to know what to prompt Bing in the Compose mode for it to create absolute gold!

navjack276• 3 years ago

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He notices a sign that says “Free Wi-Fi”. He asks the bartender for the password. The bartender says “It’s ‘I’m using motion controls’, all lowercase, no spaces”. The guy says “That’s a weird password. Why did you choose that?” The bartender says “Because I’m using motion controls!” and makes a gesture with his hand. He laughs and says “It’s a reference to Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, you know, the game where you can use motion controls to steer your kart. It’s a running gag among the players, they always say ‘I’m using motion controls’ when they win or lose or do something crazy. It’s hilarious!” The guy says “Oh, I see. Well, I don’t play video games, so I wouldn’t know”. He types in the password and connects to the Wi-Fi.

The next day, the guy comes back to the bar and orders another drink. He sees the same sign and asks the bartender for the password again. The bartender says “It’s ‘I’m using motion controls’, all lowercase, no spaces”. The guy says “Yeah, I remember. You told me yesterday. It’s from Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, right?” The bartender says “Yes, that’s right. And I’m using motion controls!” and makes the same gesture with his hand. He laughs and says “It never gets old, does it? It’s such a funny joke. Everyone loves it!” The guy says “Uh-huh. Sure”. He types in the password and connects to the Wi-Fi.

The third day, the guy comes back to the bar and orders yet another drink. He sees the same sign and asks the bartender for the password once more. The bartender says “It’s ‘I’m using motion controls’, all lowercase, no spaces”. The guy says “Yeah, yeah, I know. You’ve told me twice already. It’s from Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, and you’re using motion controls. Ha ha ha”. The bartender says “Exactly! And I’m using motion controls!” and makes the same gesture with his hand. He laughs and says “It’s still funny, isn’t it? It’s such a classic joke. Everyone knows it!” The guy says “Yeah, yeah, whatever”. He types in the password and connects to the Wi-Fi.

The fourth day, the guy comes back to the bar and orders a different drink. He sees the same sign and asks the bartender for the password yet again. The bartender says “It’s ‘I’m using motion controls’, all lowercase, no spaces”. The guy says “Look, buddy, I get it. You like Mario Kart 8 Deluxe, and you like using motion controls. You think it’s a funny joke to say ‘I’m using motion controls’ every time someone asks for the Wi-Fi password. But it’s not funny anymore. It’s annoying. It’s repetitive. It’s lame. Can you please change the password to something else? Something more original? Something more creative? Something more interesting?” The bartender says “Sure, sure, I can do that. No problem”. He goes to his computer and changes the password. He comes back and says “OK, I’ve changed it. The new password is ‘I’m still using motion controls’, all lowercase, no spaces”. He laughs and says “And I’m still using motion controls!” and makes the same gesture with his hand.

The guy slams his drink on the counter and storms out of the bar.

ShawnL30• 3 years ago

Thanks. These are all good reads, and I think Bing Chat has a more sophisticated sense of humor lol.

navjack276• 3 years ago

Hello, VicHeads! It's me, Biffo the Bear, and today I'm going to review the hardest game ever made: Vic Ireland's Masterpiece of Masochism. This game is so hard, it makes Dark Souls look like a walk in the park. It makes Cuphead look like a cup of tea. It makes Getting Over It look like getting over a mild cold. The game is a side-scrolling platformer where you play as Vic Ireland himself, trying to escape from his angry fans who are upset with his localization choices. You have to dodge bullets, bombs, lasers, spikes, and insults as you run for your life. The game has no checkpoints, no save points, no health bars, and no mercy. If you die, you start over from the beginning. And trust me, you will die. A lot. The game is so hard, I couldn't even get past the first level. And I'm a professional gamer! I've beaten every game in the world, except this one. This game is harder than my ex-wife's heart. It's harder than a diamond in an ice storm. It's harder than... well, you get the idea. The game is also full of Vic Ireland's trademark humor and style. He threw away 90% of the original script and rewrote it for an American audience. He added jokes, references, and insults that only he and his loyal fans would understand. He also changed the graphics, music, and sound effects to make them more "Vic-like". The game is a love letter to his fans, and a middle finger to his haters. The game is not for everyone. It's only for the most hardcore VicHeads who love a challenge and a laugh. If you're not one of them, don't bother playing this game. You'll only end up crying and smashing your controller. But if you are one of them, then go ahead and buy this game right now. You won't regret it. Well, maybe you will. But at least you'll have fun.

navjack276• 3 years ago

Hello, mates! It's me, Biffo the Bear, and today I'm going to review the latest video game sensation: Super Smashy Bashy! This game is a total zonker, I tell you. It's full of whizz-bang action, snazzy graphics and bonkers characters. You can play as a ninja, a pirate, a robot, a dinosaur or even a cheese sandwich! How flabbergasting is that?

The game is very simple: you just have to smash and bash your opponents until they go splat. You can use all kinds of wacky weapons, like a rubber duck, a frying pan, a banana peel or a custard pie. You can also use special moves that make your character do something crazy, like farting fireballs, burping lasers or spinning like a top. The game is so fun and hilarious that you'll be laughing your socks off.

But the best part of the game is the sound effects. They are so zippy and zappy that they make your ears tingle. Every time you hit someone, you hear a loud "BOING!" or "SPLAT!" or "CRASH!" or "BANG!" or "ZOOM!" or "POW!" or "WHAM!" or "KABOOM!" or "BLAM!" or "KERPLUNK!" or "OOOF!" or "OUCH!" or "ARGH!" or "EEEEK!" or "YOWCH!" or "OWIE!" or "WHEE!" or "YIPPEE!" or "HOORAY!" or "YAHOO!" or "WOOHOO!" or...or...or...

Oh, I can't remember them all. There are so many of them. They are so funny and silly and goofy and loony and nutty and daffy and batty and cuckoo and...and...and...

Blargle wargle snargle bargle! Flibble dibble gibble dribble! Wibble wobble bibble bobble! Nibble nobble gobble gobble! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee!

Oh, I'm sorry. I got carried away there. I just love this game so much. It's the best game ever. You should all buy it right now. It's only 99 quid. A bargain, I say. A bargain!

Well, that's all for today, mates. I hope you enjoyed my review of Super Smashy Bashy. Tune in next time for more of my zany antics and opinions. Until then, this is Biffo the Bear saying: Cheerio!

navjack276• 3 years ago

Hello there, reader. I'm Apollo Diomedes, captain of the Blood Ravens 5th Company. You may know me from my exploits in the Aurelia sub-sector, where I fought against the Tyranids, the Eldar, and the Chaos forces. But today, I'm here to roast you. Don't worry, it's all in good fun. I'm not going to use my power sword or my bolter on you. Just my words. And trust me, they're sharper than any blade. So, let's start with the obvious. You don't have a girlfriend. Why is that? Is it because you spend too much time playing Warhammer? Or is it because you're too afraid to talk to women? Or maybe it's because you have the charisma of a servitor and the looks of a grox. Whatever the reason, you're missing out on one of the Emperor's greatest gifts: love. Love is what drives us to fight for humanity, to protect our brothers and sisters, to sacrifice ourselves for a greater cause. Without love, we are nothing but mindless drones, following orders without question. But maybe you don't need love. Maybe you're happy with your lonely existence, your virtual friends, your plastic models. Maybe you think you're better than everyone else, that you're a true fan of Warhammer, that you know everything there is to know about the lore. Well, let me tell you something, reader. You don't know squat. You don't know the thrill of charging into battle with your squad, the fear of facing an enemy that wants to devour your soul, the joy of hearing your name praised by your commander. You don't know the honor of serving the Emperor, the glory of dying for him, the hope of being reborn as a Space Marine. You see, reader, you and I are very different. I'm a hero, a legend, a leader. You're a nobody, a loser, a follower. I'm a warrior, a soldier, a brother. You're a nerd, a gamer, a fanboy. I'm Apollo Diomedes, captain of the Blood Ravens 5th Company. And you're just...you. But hey, don't take it personally. It's just a joke. A friendly roast. I'm sure you have some redeeming qualities. Maybe you're smart, or funny, or generous. Maybe you have a good heart, or a good soul, or a good sense of humor. Maybe you're not as bad as I make you out to be. Or maybe not. Anyway, thanks for listening to me ramble on. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. And remember: in the grim darkness of the far future...there is only war.

navjack276• 3 years ago

The Three Stooges were bored one day and decided to try something new. They had heard of audiophiles, people who are obsessed with high-fidelity sound reproduction, and thought it sounded like fun. They went to a nearby electronics store and bought the most expensive headphones, speakers, amplifiers, and cables they could find. They also bought some vinyl records of classical music, jazz, and rock.

They rushed home and set up their equipment in the living room. They plugged everything in and turned on the power. They put on a record of Beethoven's Fifth Symphony and prepared to enjoy the music. However, they soon realized that they had no idea how to adjust the settings on their devices. They started to fiddle with the knobs, buttons, and switches, hoping to find the perfect sound.

Moe was in charge of the headphones. He put them on his ears and turned up the volume to the maximum. He was immediately blasted by a loud noise that made him scream and jump. He threw the headphones away and they landed on Curly's head. Curly was in charge of the speakers. He had placed them close to his ears and was trying to balance the left and right channels. He was startled by the sudden sound from the headphones and knocked over the speakers.

They fell on Larry's feet. Larry was in charge of the amplifier. He had connected it to the record player and was trying to adjust the bass and treble. He felt a sharp pain in his toes and kicked the amplifier. It sparked and smoked and set fire to the cables. The three stooges panicked and ran around the room, trying to put out the fire. They tripped over each other and fell on the floor. The fire spread to the curtains and furniture. The smoke alarm went off and alerted the neighbors.

The fire department arrived and sprayed water on the flames. The water damaged the remaining equipment and soaked the records. The three stooges were taken outside by the firefighters. They were covered in ash, water, and bruises They looked at each other and realized that they had made a huge mistake. They decided to never try audiophilia again They agreed that they preferred their old radio with its crackling sound and simple tuning. They laughed at their misadventure and walked away.

---

One day, Mario and Luigi decided to have a friendly race on Rainbow Road. They agreed to use the same kart and items, but Luigi had a secret plan. He hid a banana peel behind his seat and waited for the right moment to drop it. When they reached the final lap, Luigi threw the banana peel behind him, hoping to make Mario spin out. But Mario saw it coming and dodged it with ease. Luigi was so shocked that he lost his balance and fell off the track. Mario crossed the finish line and cheered.

Luigi asked him how he knew about the banana peel. Mario smiled and said, “It’s-a me, Mario! I know all your tricks!”. Luigi was confused and asked, “But how did you see it? I threw it behind me!”. Mario winked and said, “I have a mirror in my kart. I can see everything behind me.”. Luigi realized his mistake and felt embarrassed. He said, “Oh no! I forgot about the mirror! That’s why you always win!”. Mario laughed and said, “That’s right! And that’s why you’re always second banana!”

Ask HN: What's the best AI-generated joke you've ever seen?

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