Ask HN: Can't get motivated. Help?

I've been thinking about creating an online dating service for quite a while.

I figured it would be a good way to do something simple and cut my teeth on some new technologies. I had a plan. The code would be written in PHP. I would use MySql for the database. Apache would serve up the HTTP requests. I could simply start with the Ubuntu Linux desktop at my house. Dynamic DNS would keep my site Web accessible over my little cable modem. With this infrastructure in place I decided to get started.

I seemed to have everything planned out. I had been attending a local PHP meetup. I started discussing the site I was readying myself to design and acquired some help in the form of free hosting services. I was planning on using PHP and MySql and because my colleague's hosting service provided these, I switched over. I just pointed my domain name to his servers and started a very minimally designed site. At this point, you could (and still can) create an account, choose whether you're male or female, add your own tag line and select an age range.

I figured I'd just code away and a fully functional dating site would crystalize before my very eyes. For instance, I had ideas and wrote some code for doing the site in multiple languages like English, Spanish, German, Russian and Japanese. I also started researching AdSense and how to actually drive traffic to my site.

It seemed as if I was learning something new everyday. I was also becoming more and more aware of how little I actually understood. This was a good thing and didn't stop me from forging on.

However, it seems there are a lot of ways to go about not getting something done. There were seemingly minor distractions in the form of work, home and family. That, along with my knack for procrastination, somehow kept me away from really making steady progress.A few days of no progress turned into weeks and months. It seemed that I was a little disgusted with my inaction and didn't want to face all of the work I should've completed by now.

So what really happened?

It seems I've lost all of my momentum and no longer have the desire to keep going with this, not really original, idea. I really wanted to architect a unique experience compared to all of the other dating sites out there. I'll tell you right now. With a 9-to-5 grind that I'm really starting to dislike and continuous family obligations (paying loads of attention to my three-year-old, moved into a new house in a new city with new schools, dealing with my teenage son's issues, etc), it's really difficult to focus on a little web site design.

I don't really think I wish to do a dating site anymore. I definitely do want to do something that brings people together at some personal level. I love coding and database design and need to get some more experience in web design (even design, in general). Perhaps a social networking site? Here I go again. I really have a problem with attempting to bite off more than I can chew.

Maybe I'm thinking too big here. I don't know. It's really hard at this point for me to even come up with simple ideas that solve real problems. I'm not sure if I just need to take a step back and not do anything remotely useful for a while. Yet, at this point, I don't think I'm burned out. Am I in denial?

I guess I'm just seeking out a way to somehow restore my motivation so I'm reaching out to all of you for help.

Any war stories of defeat after defeat and finally emerging triumphant against all odds?

-- onebigcatch.com