Whiner Jerkins All Hands Meeting Powerpoint Revealed

It wasn't docstoc's fault, it was mine. But yeah, I shoulda used scribd. For some reason it just totally slipped my mind. I saw the Sequoia one on docstoc and just used it.

sabat• 18 years ago

Frakking hilarious, and close enough to reality to be kinda scary.

rwebb5• 18 years ago

pretty juvenile IMO. great bridge burning though. nailed that part.

fallentimes5• 18 years ago

But most of what he said was dead on. It just happened to be hilarious as well.

rwebb5• 18 years ago

mildly amusing, yes. dead on, no. like watching a train wreck in slow motion, yes.

raganwald4• 18 years ago

I give VCs and startup founders more credit than you do. If I met someone who blackballed Matt on the basis of a satire like this, I would wonder why they were being so insecure and/or vindictive.

That being said, hang on a moment (waits 60s). Funny, no calls from VCs. I wonder if it was this:

http://weblog.raganwald.com/2007/04/venture-capitalist-passe...

Seriously, the people I know (probably many fewer than everyone else) are the types to laugh hardest at this stuff. I recall meeting with an investment banking boutique about writing valuation models for them. The partner told me that before getting to work I had to familiarize myself with the Code of Ethics for his profession. He handed me a heavy tome.

I opened it, to find... blank pages! He laughed heartily. I can't see that guy spitting on Matt's shadow as they pass in the street.

rwebb5• 18 years ago

matt's post pisses on people who hold a lot of clout within the industry in which he operates for no reason other than to get traffic to his blog. this seems shortsighted to me. maybe i'm wrong. let alone the fact that sequoia is the firm that put out the deck while kleiner is the only VC that has openly eschewed web 2.0 investments. they have been investing in energy and mobile while others put money into the seesmics. kleiner won't even listen to pitches from 99% of web companies even if they have a solid introduction. but matt decided to take a very public piss on them. it's a very small world. and the difference in tone within the comments on this thread vs. the "sequoia: armchair quarterbacks" is laughable.

mattmaroon6• 18 years ago

Sorry, it was working last night. Anyway, it's fixed now.

qhoxie• 18 years ago

Funny but also really solid commentary on the past and present. I have been amazed for years at the practices of some investors and founders. This sums things up very nicely.

tdavis3• 18 years ago

Although I hold the title for most hilarious Keynote presentation, that was without a doubt the most amazing Powerpoint presentation ever devised by man.

Amazing. Matt, have my babies. We'll work out the logistics.

fallentimes5• 18 years ago

You do? When? Love, Your Cofounder.

P.S. If you mean the 2nd day of YC Demo Days in Cali, it's not a fair comparison because we didn't use powerpoint.

tdavis3• 18 years ago

It was a training refresher on advanced cover tactics in urban combat. I had people in tears. My NCOIC ordered me to convert it to Powerpoint so he could use it, hahaha.

P.S. I wouldn't really have a place taking any credit for the laughs at our demos... I was laughing too since I had no idea what you were going to say.

ovi256• 18 years ago

Great work matt. You nailed just the right tone. I believed it was real right about until the end.

SwellJoe• 18 years ago

Fact check: GOOG still has tons of cash. There's still a chance to get acquired by them!

ChaitanyaSai• 18 years ago

Hilarious. Someone should do one about how the Web 2.0 denizens would go about with their life in a Depression. Tweeting from the government food lines, posting pictures of the day's crappy dished-out gruel on Flickr, posting Facebook updates of their hunger pangs and the number of pounds lost...quite a few possibilities.

fallentimes5• 18 years ago

Scoble?

unalone6• 18 years ago

He'd trim down the RSS feeds from 600 to 550.

jcl• 18 years ago

...selling Apples on streetcorners...

hooande• 18 years ago

funniest power point ever

profgubler• 18 years ago

Thanks for the laugh. It is great to laugh at some of the silliness in investing. It helps keep everyone in check.

unalone6• 18 years ago

Excellent. I'm not an MM fan, but this one made me chortle.

For a while too long, I thought Whiner Jerkins sounded like a real company, so I didn't click this link. Fool me once...

mattmaroon6• 18 years ago

How can you not be an MM fan? That guy is great. :)

unalone6• 18 years ago

I dunno. The third-person complimentary stuff he gets up to sometimes gets to be too much. :/

EDIT: No? No jokes today? I'm sorry.

petesmithy• 18 years ago

great work matt

edw519• 18 years ago

Cutting out an employee with $100k in salary is just as good as increasing revenues by $100k.

Only if your margins are 100%.

If your margins are 10% then cutting out that employee is just as good as increasing revenues by $1 million.

Food for thought before any new hire.

raganwald4• 18 years ago

In other words, Cutting out an employee with $100k in salary is just as good as increasing net revenues by $100k.

tyler• 18 years ago

Except not really. You hire an employee with the intentions that they'll be worth more to the company than the money the money they cost it. It could be more accurately stated as...

Cutting out a _worthless_ employee with $100k in salary is just as good as blah blah blah.

If the employee is not worth more than they cost the company you should not be hiring them recession or not.

zandorg• 18 years ago

A great take on the VC market, Kleiner Perkins I assume. Stuff moves so fast on the Web - it's just 2 years ago that I wanted to sell to Google, and now that's no longer an option. But I have other ideas up my sleeve which don't require Google acquiring them.

Whiner Jerkins All Hands Meeting Powerpoint Revealed

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