Ask HN: What lessons you learned from _personal_ experience of “office romance”?

https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26902147

by ElectricMind • 5 years ago

3 4 5 years ago

news.ycombinator.com

As a male, I am interested in male experiences. I know lot of sayings : "don't dip your pen in office ink" ,"don't shit where you eat" etc. But I am desperate man. I don't know any other places to meet women. Tinder tried and failed. I am not good looking either. I don't have 100 friends and they dying to set blind date for me. I think no one gives a damn if I die alone except my family. But I am scared of #metoo kind of stuff. So let me hear what is your first-hand experience and learning from romantic relationship at office rather than "cliché sayings". Thanks

eMGm4D0zgUAVXc7• 5 years ago

If you're starting this trail of thought from where you're starting it, you're gonna have a bad time.

It should not be "in place X there are women, so I am going to get one."

It should be "person X is a nice person I like. I will see if she also likes me, and if yes, we might work something out."

In other words: You're talking like it is a pond with fish and any you pull out will be good for eating. That is not a healthy attitude to have towards people.

And it will rightfully annoy them once they find out, which they likely will.

byoung2• 5 years ago

I wouldn't recommend actively trying to find an office romance. The best way to find romance is to not look for it. Get out and do things you enjoy, and you'll find women who also enjoy these things and maybe you'll find a connection with one of them. Occasionally that happens at work.

I met my wife 16 years ago while "on the job" though she was not a coworker. I was the manager of a test prep center and she was a student studying for the nursing board exam. Things worked out for us, but it could have gone horribly wrong if I had lost my job because of it.

rendall• 5 years ago

I am not good looking either

Not sure what you mean, here. Fix the things you can: dress well, shave or trim where needed, shower and wear clean clothes everyday. That you can fix this week. While there are women who like stinky, scruffy fellows, they are outnumbered by the women who don't.

Find a group of friends who are mixed and share your interests. Not necessarily for a dating pool, but because going out and having fun regularly will put a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

You don't have to be a gym rat to attract a nice girl, but finding one will be easier if you move around some. Go for walks regularly, like an hour a day if you can manage. Again, not to get a gym rat body, but to make yourself feel better.

Lastly, get good at something you can share with others. Doesn't matter what it is, so it might as well be something you enjoy. Even programming can be on the list. Again, not so much to impress the ladies, but because it will make you feel better.

If you feel good about yourself, you'll be more likely to attract someone great.

Good luck!

HelloNurse• 5 years ago

Really awkward situations with a colleague are likely to end in a forced job change or worse, and if you manage to look bad (very likely) you are going to face the same people day after day. Be very cautious and ignore anything less than public and obvious encouragement.

Ask HN: What lessons you learned from _personal_ experience of “office romance”?

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