Small asks first

http://www.davidgcohen.com/2010/10/28/small-asks-first/

by joshfraser • 16 years ago

30 9 16 years ago

TamDenholm• 16 years ago

The problem with this is, at least from my perspective, is i hate people that pussyfoot around, if you want something, please just come out and say so.

A lot of the people that want to "build a relationship" are extremely annoying because of this, i dont want to build a relationship with you, if you just get down to doing something then a relationship just happens naturally.

pavel_lishin2• 16 years ago

This is relevant to your interests: http://ask.metafilter.com/55153/Whats-the-middle-ground-betw...

Also, the article didn't seem to suggest pussy-footing to me - rather, it seems to suggest that if you don't know someone very well, it's rude to ask/demand them for a large investment of time in order to help you. Sending a short e-mail vs. asking for a phone call isn't pussy footing around, it actually sounds a lot more direct to me.

redwoods• 16 years ago

Really easy to forget this stuff so thank you. When I feel the answer to my success lies with other people I tend to overask. When I am confident my success lies with me my perspiration andinspiration, and a little luck, then I'm less likely to over-reach a relationship.

microcentury• 16 years ago

Off-topic: I despise this use of the word 'ask' more than I could ever fully explain, common as it is. It's a 'request'. Even for business speak, this one is a particularly brutal torturing of the language.

Other than that, very helpful article.

brandnewlow• 16 years ago

I was expecting an article about how people who ask instead of just taking end up "small"

hugh3• 16 years ago

And I was expecting an article about how in any transaction or relationship with a power differential it is the less powerful (smaller) party who makes the first request.

rdrimmie• 16 years ago

I don't think it's just a function of time. 3-5 questions could easily take 30 minutes to answer. A phone call is just such a larger imposition than email (for many). No time to think a solid response through, research your answer, start after supper finish after the kids are asleep, etc.

Email lets the respondent control the conversation, rather than the requestor.

pavel_lishin2• 16 years ago

All in all, the problem is that it requires instant latency. You have to schedule a call, and be ready then.

dinkumthinkum• 16 years ago

Can we go back to the real world where "ask" is a verb? I had trouble getting through this. Isn't this sort of something we all learn growing up? I dunno, seems like "don't be pushy." Maybe the rubrik for small - huge is useful. Please stop using "ask" this way though. If it makes you feel better, I will be ok if you want to start every sentence with "so."

Small asks first

Related Stories