How Steve Ballmer told me what to do with my iPad

http://www.markwilson.co.uk/blog/2010/10/how-steve-ballmer-told-me-what-to-do-with-my-ipad.htm

by illdave • 16 years ago

95 69 16 years ago

markwilson.co.uk

aroon• 16 years ago

I'm amazed at how many words can come out of Ballmer's mouth without him having actually said anything...

You shouldn't be. It's quite normal. If someone recorded and then transcribed normal conversation of your's (or anyone else's), you'd be appalled at it. I know I was when mine was recorded! Someone once complimented Cary Grant by saying he wished he could be as witty and suave as Cary was on screen. Cary replied that he wished he could be, too.

There's a good reason why politicians carefully script and rehearse their remarks in advance, even the supposedly 'extemporaneous' ones.

cletus• 16 years ago

Well compare it to the utterances from the "other Steve" (Jobs) who takes brevity to the point of terseness. Compare, for example his D8 interview with, well, anyone else's.

Ballmer is a disaster for Microsoft and living proof of why you should have a product guy (not a business wonk) in charge of a technology company.

hop2• 16 years ago

Ballmer's incompetence is compounded when he talks shit. Its like The Emperor's New Clothes, except its been going on for so long that everyone knows hes not wearing invisible robes. All, apparently except for Bill G and the others on the board of directors that keep him gainfully employed.

megablast• 16 years ago

Look, did this really go beyond a gentle ribbing? Ballmer is a big character, who is supposed to make these grand sweeping statements. I don't know how much we can draw from this.

hop2• 16 years ago

Yes and he has done it numerous times.

Ballmer talking shit about the iPhone - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So7qrFO_p44

andreyf2• 16 years ago

Yeah, Balmer made a grand sweeping idiotic statement, and here we all are, talking about Apple and iStuffs. That doesn't seem like a smart move...

Herring• 16 years ago

He reminds me of a WWE character, I don't know why people take him so literally. I actually like his attitude, except he's playing for the wrong team...

mrshoe2• 16 years ago

Microsoft conference attendees can all laugh at the poor iPad user bent over an obviously flawed form factor when they should be using one of those tablets with flip-around keyboards that have been out for 10 years running Windows.

And everyone at WWDC can laugh all the way to the bank every time Apple sells another million iPads.

The customers have spoken. Is denial really Ballmer's best option at this point?

danpker• 16 years ago

I was at the event and quite a large amount of people there had iPads too.

dejb2• 16 years ago

The same argument says Windows is the best desktop/laptop software. "The customers have spoken."

Groxx• 16 years ago

The same logic begs the question "so why are they losing ground?"

Momentum takes a while to reverse.

junkbit2• 16 years ago

Yes, when Android first launched it was very interesting to see Apple users use phrases like 100,000 apps in the app store and dominant market share, and how these have changed as they were overtaken.

Mac users were always defending the boutique, specialist, quality over quantity arguments on the desktop and then suddenly it was all a numbers game for a while there.

mrshoe2• 16 years ago

I don't think so. If I was to claim that more people will buy Macs than PCs, then you could say "the customers have spoken" and that I was wrong. But I never claimed that.

Ballmer here is claiming that nobody wants the iPad form factor. That's just patently false and you only need to point to sales numbers to show that.

sigzero• 16 years ago

No, the biggest reason was pre-installation and nasty tactics by Microsoft out of the starting gate.

metamemetics• 16 years ago

Which is why the derivative (or rate of change in OS market share) is more informative than current position (OS market share).

GHFigs• 16 years ago

And that remains correct. The difference is that Windows customers are the OEMs.

forgottenpaswrd2• 16 years ago

It was as quality-price ratio without a doubt. You wanted a cheap PC you could change different cards, you got PCs(and windows with it).

lallysingh• 16 years ago

Apple's got over 90% of retail market share for computers > $1000. The customers have spoken, and said they'll take windows on cheap machines.

dhbradshaw• 16 years ago

I love the flip-around tablet. It's better than a touch screen for almost any creative application because of the great input resolution. The only real negative is that it's expensive.

lsc• 16 years ago

my buddy has a thinkpad x61 flip-around tablet, and it looks as usable as my thinkpad x60s non-tablet as a laptop, and it also looks like a reasonable tablet. (now, I'm not a tablet guy, so I can't evaluate how good a tablet is; the form factor is simply Not For Me. but my buddy likes it. he runs windows on the thing.)

Me, I carry a (non tablet) thinkpad x60s running Linux. it gets maybe 4 or 5 hours on the extended battery, and I carry one extended battery and two (half the charge) regular batteries. (I'm a big guy and the thinkpad x series is small, so the extra weight doesn't really bother me. It's still lighter than my girl's giant T series laptop w/ extended battery. That thing is heavy.) Also, the thing is cheap enough that I don't get too bothered at the idea of it getting destroyed.

tommusic• 16 years ago

For what it's worth: Woot.com's deal for the day is a flip-around tablet-style netbook. http://woot.com/

brudgers2• 16 years ago

"I was also juggling a camera (on my Nokia phone), a voice recorder (on my iPhone) and taking notes/tweeting on the iPad whilst listening to Mr Ballmer."

That strikes me as a lot of redundancy. So, I see Balmer's point when he said, "I think we can make life a little simpler for people, if we do the right job."

auxbuss• 16 years ago

Words are cheap. Everyone here knows it's about delivery. So all Ballmer needs to do now is execute. Personally, I don't think he has the ability. He's a sales' dude. A one-trick pony. A wealthy one-trick pony, but not a CEO or business leader.

brudgers2• 16 years ago

>"Words are cheap."

Yes, I would have to agree.

Indeed, Balmer's use of the conditional, "if we do the right job," might signify he has made similar observations, and perhaps be taken as evidence that Balmer is not cut from the same cloth as some other CEO's.

trustfundbaby• 16 years ago

This reminds me of the reddit Q&A with the IE9 guys ... they (Microsoft) don't realize that they're no longer the ones defining where technology goes and as a result they'll keep missing the boat on the technological trends that are shaping the future.

Its going to be very satisfying to watch them eventually realize they've been left behind.

bradhe3• 16 years ago

> they (Microsoft) don't realize that they're no longer the ones defining where technology goes

Actually, this is a really good point. In 1985 Microsoft was Facebook and Microsoft continued to be Facebook-y 'till, what, 2002?

cies2• 16 years ago

Wow, I'm shocked. I wonder how long he will be able to get away with this.

lazugod• 16 years ago

Get away with what?

cies2• 16 years ago

Avoiding a simple question, not having an answer ready to questions easily forseen, speaking on the brink of uttering nonsense, making really bad jokes wrt a competitors product and its user.

I read a transcipt of Ballmers public speaking before and I was then also shocked by the poor quality of it.

jessriedel2• 16 years ago

>My netbook has to be coaxed through the day with Wi-Fi switched off in order to get more than a few hours out of the battery; my 15″ laptop only goes 2-3 hours between charges (newer models may be better, but I can’t change laptops at the drop of a hat); meanwhile, I find the iPad easy enough to type on in landscape mode, it turns on/off instantly and, after 8 hours taking notes and tweeting yesterday, it still had an indicated battery charge of 55%.

Sounds like this guy's real problem is battery life (and, to a lesser extent, slow resume from sleep), not keyboard vs. no keyboard. The iPad gets 16 hours or whatever in part because it has a 9.7 inch screen compared to his laptops 15 inches or so. My netbook with a 10.5 inch screen gets 8 real hours of battery life.

So yes, keyboardlessness is good insofar as it enables you to have a tiny screen (since a tiny screen with a usable size keyboard would be awkward). But I only use my netbook 6 or less hours a day, so for me I easily trade the difference between 8 and 16 hours for a real keyboard. As battery life gets better, that will make sense for more people, unless keyboardless entry starts making big progress (which is possible). But even then, I'd still rather have a larger screen and $200.

stcredzero2• 16 years ago

I like how you parenthesized:

(and, to a lesser extent, slow resume from sleep)

That's no small thing. Not only does this change the usability of the machine tremendously, it has quite a big bearing on battery life. In fact, battery life is directly affected by how it is used.

The iPad can be used in a way which is fairly close to how one would use a notepad. You click the "sleep/standby" button and off you go. The netbook/laptop is a workstation and so wants to soak up all of your attention for some interval of time.

Also, I bet that that $200 advantage is going to disappear in short order.

jessriedel2• 16 years ago

> That's no small thing

I'm not saying it's a small thing. This isn't a netbook vs. iPad argument. I'm saying the resume-from-sleep speed has to do with good Apple engineering, not the keyboardless form factor (which is what the OP was defending).

lliiffee• 16 years ago

There is some truth in his point about big buttons. The idea of using a traditional keyboard+mouse interface with software designed for fingers is actually pretty appealing, just because of the ease of use constraints on the software.

CamperBob• 16 years ago

True, which I suppose is why so many new/startup websites look like http://www.fisherprice.com.

Poiesis• 16 years ago

Actually, it just continues to show the naïveté at the top.

The article has him saying "Media Center is Big Buttons", as if media center could solve their problems. I want to give them points for trying, but really the needs of an interface that's ten feet away and controlled with a remote are vastly different than one at your fingertips. Yes, they both need to be bigger in certain ways. But the similarity mostly stops there.

I hate to keep dragging out the Steve Jobs quote, but I really can't think of a better way to put it. "Design is not just what it looks like and feels like. Design is how it works."

konad• 16 years ago

Or the similar: "darling, style isn't something you put on after a bath"

grantheaslip• 16 years ago

I recently went from a 2007 MacBook to a Lenovo X201 with 9-cell battery, and it's worth pointing out that the much-improved battery life (3-5 hours -> maybe 6-9), lower weight (5.5 pounds to 3.5) and heat (uncomfortably warm -> barely noticeable) have made a huge difference in how I use it. Even the size difference, though not quite as dramatic, is very noticeable.

I used to really debate whether or not I needed my computer when I left the house, but now I tend to not think about it (3.5 pounds is pretty negligible, where 5.5 was verging on uncomfortable to shoulder), and I need to worry a lot less about preserving battery power than I used to. In that respect, I definitely see the argument for the iPad in his situation (though it's still apples to oranges), but if what he really wants is a long battery life and portability, there are pretty viable options out there that are still full-fledged computers.

maguay• 16 years ago

I've felt the same way with my netbook. The older HP laptop I used to use was pokey, got about 1.5 hr. of battery life at best, heavy as lead, and hot enough to grill meat. Now I use a 10.1" netbook, weighs just under 1kg, only gets warm with heavy use, and lasts 8hr on battery (or more if you're just reading from Kindle for PC). It's definately changed how I think about mobile computing.

stackthat• 16 years ago

Is there any point in this post beside of the fact Steve Ballmer mentioned about this guy vaguely in his talk?

mahmud• 16 years ago

The article doesn't deliver what the title promises: Steve Ballmer telling someone what he should do with his iPad.

It's more of a fluff sentimental piece about a guy operating multiple gadgets while not sitting down comfortably.

powrtoch• 16 years ago

"You can bend over, too" was a pun.

xentronium• 16 years ago

That's particularly sad. The guys missed a smartphone market, now they miss a tablet market while they are the ones that should make a decent and usable alternative.

bradhe3• 16 years ago

Okay guys, I've got to come out with something here. I'm kind of a lurker on HN so I don't really say much...but I need to say something before I continue with my comment here: I really love Microsoft products.

The (fledgling) start up I'm working on is built on .NET. I'm a BizSpark member and my 9 to 5s have all been in .NET shops. My senior project in college was written on .NET which led me to contracting at Microsoft for a while while I finished my degree. And while I was there I was continually impressed by the quality of the people I interacted with and how dedicated and passionate they were to and about their technologies.

I can talk all day about what I like and what I don't like about specific technologies they put out but my comment today isn't on the quality of their products. It is on Steve Ballmer's atrocious presentation skills.

The way this man talks is like a marketeer in that doesn't really "get" technology and dances around the technical aspects with marketing speak and hand waving. He cannot afford to continue to deny that his competitors are beating the shit out of them in a number of markets that they oh-so-badly want to participate in but just cannot execute in for one reason or another. And beyond that, in 2010, when your CEO competition is Zuckerberg, Jobs, and Schmidt, you really really can't afford to not really get technology.

Microsoft if you're out there, if you're listening to me, please for the love of the gigantic, rich, strong community that surrounds your company and technologies, please PLEASE eject Steve Ballmer. He's been slowly sinking the ship for 10 years (yes, it is mostly his doing) and you can't keep this up.

viae• 16 years ago

Every time I read what comes out of Steve Ballmer's mouth I wonder if that guy has ever touched a computer. Microsoft's employees need to acquire some parrots and eye patches. It's mutiny time.

sdurkin• 16 years ago

Economics is like gravity. It doesn't care if you believe in them. Either way you're headed for a fall.

stuhacking• 16 years ago

"Media Center is big and, when people say ‘hey, we could optimise more for clients’ I think what they generally mean is ‘Big Buttons’. Big Buttons that’s, I think, a codeword for Big Buttons and Media Center is Big Buttons not Little Buttons."

So wait... Will there be Big Buttons?

Aside from that, it feels like He's focusing on this one area of UX design. I hope this doesn't forecast an imbalance in the experience of the finished product.

It reminds me a little of Web 2.0:

"Web 2.0 is shiny and rounded, and when people say `shiny and rounded' they really mean `shiny and rounded buttons.'"

regularfry• 16 years ago

I think he's using "big buttons" as a shortcut for the difference between highly rich, detailed interfaces which present many options all at once, and more "simplified", more intuitive interfaces which present fewer options, but where more work has been done to ensure they're the options you really, really need.

At least, I hope he is. This is Ballmer, after all.

tnorthcutt• 16 years ago

...touch applications which we will encourage people to write.

This seems like a very telling phrase. If they partner with someone to build a great tablet device, running a great Windows OS, they won't need to encourage development for it - the demand will be obvious.

How Steve Ballmer told me what to do with my iPad

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